My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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