from now on my penis is your penis
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize