So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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