I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
