he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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