I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
