I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
