Screwed.edu
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
