We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
