The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
