its not stalking. its research.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize