I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
