Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
