oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
