Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
