u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
