youre lurking in front of me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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