i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
