I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
