I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
