You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize