i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
