she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
