We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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