You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
