Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
