yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and i looked up. we had an audience...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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