We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize