I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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