Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
