My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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