I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
