We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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