You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
