i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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