I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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