So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
