My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
