yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
