Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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