Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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