If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
