if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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