You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
