He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
