oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
