How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
