Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
