Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
