evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
