o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
