garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
