I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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