Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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