remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You are a genius and a whore.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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