Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
