I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
