But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How naked do you want me to be?
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