Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize