He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
