Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
