when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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