handjob tips. give me some.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize