She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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