sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
