This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Randomize
