I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
